Meet and Greet Monday: Marlene Anderson

Dear Reader,

I'd like to share a little about myself and my writing.

Eight years ago, my husband died from an aggressive brain tumor that took his life within three months of its diagnosis. To lose my husband, a man in the prime of his life with no health problems of any kind, totally devastated me. It plunged me into a world of grieving. Less than a year after his death my daughter developed breast cancer while still nursing her first born child. My grieving went on hold while I supported her through radiation treatment. (Today she is cancer free.) In the months prior to and following my husband's death I read, meditated and wrote. Journaling is a powerful therapeutic tool. Out of those journals as I walked each morning with my Lord, came my first book, A Love so Great, a Grief so Deep, which is available on Amazon.com. My second book, Healing the Wounded Heart, now under review for possible publication, is a compilation of vignettes from my grief journals. The entries span from my time of acute distress to the peace I found with integration of my loss. Healing the Wounded Heart offers the reader a glimpse into the grieving process.

I have a master’s degree in psychology and counseling. I'm a licensed counselor in the state of Washington and nationally certified. I taught psychology at a two year college in Oregon and a four-year college extension center in Washington. My professional career has included facilitating many groups, designing and implementing workshops within the private sector and medical health education centers, and consulting for a large Northwest HMO. In my position as a consultant, I designed and wrote course material for a ten-week chronic-illness class, assisted in editing ADHD class material and produced a relaxation/visualization tape. I have since, under my own auspices, produced a relaxation CD with original music composed by Ron Jones, an Emmy-awards nominee, that teaches the skill of reducing stress levels.

With all the clinical literature available to me as a counselor, therapist and psychology teacher, I was still unprepared for the depth and intensity of grief, the time span involved in healing and recovery, or all the layers connected to a loss. I found solace in God's word, especially the Psalms, which speak to the heart and soul. My God met me each morning as I grieved my loss, read His Word, and recorded my journey in my journals. He was with me throughout the day and through the long nights. Every day He gave me words of strength and love. He gave me faith to believe in an ending to a journey which started with tears and sorrow but ended with my finding a deeper personal walk with my Lord. Good can and does come from all things, I found, when I allowed God to help me discover it.

Since the death of my husband, I extended my professional training in the area of grief. Grieving is an emotional experience hard to express and define. Yet articulation of that experience is at the heart and soul of healing. It is difficult to share the conflicting emotions one experiences when grieving a major loss. As a result, people who grieve often become isolated, lonely and depressed. Friends and family do not understand why the mourner hasn’t “gotten over” the loss within a prescribed amount of time. Those expectations can cause grief to go underground and remain unaddressed. Healing involves making sense of what happened, integrating it into life and creating a new ongoing reality.

A loss is a wound to the heart, an injury we can’t see but which can be just as lethal and damaging as any acute physical wound. There are no bandages, surgical stitches, splints or casts. Yet, mourners often feel they have been dealt a mortal wound and struggle to recover. Research indicates losses put people at high risk for depression, loneliness, high stress, impaired health and even early death. Losses are not to be taken lightly.

I wrote these two books to share my experience and, in the process, help validate the journey for others. There are a lot of books on the market that speak to this subject. Yet, I believe my books help express the important visceral component of grieving.

Before the death of my husband, I started FOCUS Consulting and Training, a business I maintain today. I chose the company name FOCUS because it exemplifies my conviction that we are defined by where we put our focus in life, and focus energizes and drives our principles and behaviors. Since the death of my husband, I have served my church on its council, written and delivered class material and several sermons and coordinated the Nurture and Care Ministry. I am a member of the Northwest Christian Writers Association and Speakers Bureau and PEO, an international women’s education group.

You can visit my website, http://www.marleneanderson-focus.com/ for more information about what I do and there is a link to Amazon.com to purchase my book. Copies of my relaxation CD may be purchased by contacting me through my website.

**Janalyn Voigt is an Amazon Associate and benefits when books are purchased through links from Book Readers Central.